LISTEN TO ME

LISTEN TO MUSIC. PLEASE.

(Sivan Magen performing part of Grandjany's Rhapsodie)

To the ordinary listener, this song is just another standard of the harp repertoire. But not to me.

This song changed my life.

I was in the 6th grade. I had been playing the harp for about a year and enjoyed it. But I never would have anticipated what would happen to me when my mom took me to Wallenberg Hall at Augustana to see Julie Ann Smith play a harp recital.

I don't remember what happened before or after the performance. But I remember the performance. Vividly. 

I remember how I sat there, mesmerized. I remember how everyone in the room disappeared as she played. In my mind, it was just me and the harpist, as she spun a new world in the air around me with her music. My imagination stirred. I've never experienced anything like it before, or since then. The music was potent, intoxicating. My soul caught fire, and I could see my life unfolding before me in a flurry of strings. The she played Grandjany's Rhapsodie and I knew.

I wish I could truly express to you what I felt that night, because any words I employ fall flat compared to that unspeakable passion. But why waste time wishing? I could actually invite you to one of my recitals and let you experience a taste of it.

That's the wonderful thing about music. It captures even more of the world, emotions, of life, than words or any other form of media can express. Music can provide more than enough inspiration, motivation, and cause for anyone to pursue his or her passions and goals. Think I'm exaggerating? Sure music is great, and my life-story is cute enough, but there is no real power there.

So let me tell you another story of music that changed the world. A young boy, 15 years old, goes to see Wagner's Opera, Rienzi, and his life, and soon the world, is changed forever.

"Commenting to Otto Wagener, a confidant, about a performance of Rienzi in Weimar, Hitler emphasized, to Wagener's astonishment, that this work was "a special favorite of mine." He recalled a performance of Rienzi that he attended with a friend, the budding musician August Kubizek, and that he came to consider as epoch making in his life. "In that hour," he is reported to have said, "it all began." 

What, precisely, began in that hour? His enthusiasm for Wagner? This is improbable, since Hitler had seen Lohengrin earlier, when he was thirteen. More likely, what began was the elaboration of a particular fantasy triggered by Wagner's Rienzi, namely, of becoming the leader of the Germans and restoring Germany's greatness, just as Rienzi, the last tribune in medieval Rome, had attempted to do for the Romans. Tellingly, in the aftermath of his Rienzi experience, Hitler declared, "I want to become a people's tribune." The significance of this youthful experience of the fifteen-year-old Hitler at the Linz Landes theater can hardly be exaggerated.The first indication of the opera's impact may be seen in Hitler's admiration in Mein Kampf for Karl Leuger, the charismatic mayor of Vienna (1897-1910) and the epitome of a modern populist leader. It seems safe to assume that through Wagner's Rienzi, Hitler recognized the "genius" of "Dr. Lueger." Wagner's opera awakened Hitler's political sensibilities to the advantages of charismatic, as opposed to traditional, forms of leadership. A lesson he evidently internalized and heeded for the rest of his life."

This excerpt from Hans Rudolf Vaget's article, "Wagnerian Self-Fashioning: The Case of Adolf Hitler," shows another life that was changed by music. The change music made in Hitler resulted in some of the greatest atrocities known to man. I hope this will remove any doubt you have of the power music possesses.

Music can be dangerous--the inspiration it holds can be used for great evil, as demonstrated by Hitler. But...

Music can also save lives. Music can give us the strength to stand up and fight against injustice. Music can comfort. Music can bring joy.

 Music can inspire us to chase dreams which will truly make the world a better place. 

So listen. You can find everything you need to sustain you, if only you hear the right song. 

Harpist Extraordinare OR Adorkable Music Nerd?

..... depends on where you look.

Who is this Caitlin Thom? Want to know? Well then for heaven's sake don't do something insane like talk to her! Start with the most reliable source of all:

THE INTERNET.

Step 1: GOOGLE

Off to a good start. We have several links and some pictures. But who is she? Click to find out!

Step 2: YOUTUBE

Ooooooohhhhhhhh harp candenza followed by jazz trio. This seems pretty legit. But my attention span isn't long enough for this so let's check out the facebook page in the top right corner.

Step 3: FACEBOOK FAN PAGE

Meh. Only 104 likes and hasn't posted since July. Let's go back to the second result on google.

Step 4: TWITTER

This is certainly not an account for the masses. Only 155 followers? Weaaaak. This is crap, mostly hardcore band/music nerd crap, inside jokes, or puns... or inside joke-music nerd crap-puns.

DO YOU THINK I'M JOKING?

Coolness factor non-existent. Maybe she should try posting something that ISN'T stupid for a change? Like a cat photo or celebrity retweet... Seriously, come on!

Moving on....

Step 5: PERSONAL FACEBOOK

Well, we can tell that she plays the harp, is going to college at Augustana, and recently made an impressive fruit-stacking accomplishment in the CSL. *sigh* Looking a little less like a professional harpist and more like a dork. Hmmmm.....

And let's not get started on instagram. (spoiler alert: it's just pictures of harps, her friends, and teddygrahams).

STILL. NOT. JOKING.

Now, what I have just taken you through is the aspects of my e-dentity that I was entirely in control of. I made the choice to create a youtube channel so I could share some of my performances and compositions. I made a twitter (for no good reason I'm sure) and for a while I liked posting silly musical things on it and saying #yoloswag. As for facebook, I control what I post and I can untag myself if I don't like the picture.

The e-dentity that I created is a reflection of several things. Youtube: sharing my passions and displaying my skills (I want people to hire me for weddings and such). Facebook: networking with friends, family, and acquaintences. Twitter: like a diary for things that I think are funny to share with totally random musicians from around the world who follow me because they, too, are shameless nerds.

But there's more to my e-dentity that I don't control.

My e-dentity exists out of my control in some aspects--luckily in a good way. You see here a marketing campaign I was asked to be a part of for my credit union. The Quad City Times, Quad City Symphony Orchestra, Quad City Wind Ensemble, Catfish Jazz Society, and several other respectable Quad City organizations also contain little bits of my e-dentity: successes, honors and awards, and positive affirmation of my skills, abilities, and positive attitude.

This part of my e-dentity exists out of merit, and that's something I can be proud of. I didn't ask for the e-dentity given to me by others. I feel almost like the "version" of my e-dentity controlled by others is more genuine. They show how I actually am in the real world.

Unlike what I might try to do while crafting my own e-dentity, they aren't trying to make me look cool.

I AM COOL. So they had the good sense to interview me, give me awards, write and articles about me.

It's not the pictures that I chose. It's not the post I carefully worded. It's not the online person I tried to craft. It is who I am in the real world, shared online because, hey, I have accomplished some really awesome things.

So if the e-dentity created for me by others is the better one, why even do my own thing on the internet? Some of the things I post just make me look silly and less professional. So now I'm wondering...

Keep it real (do my own thing and continue posting things about myself)?

Or keep it really real (still do my own thing but just let others take care of posting about it)?