MOTHER GINGER'S GUIDE TO A BETTER LIFE

Dearest reader,

I may not be a real mom, but sometimes I feel like it. Somehow, I ended up as the go-to person for advice, reality checks, or pep talks. So please, allow me to share with you a condensed(?) version of all of the motherly advice I have doled out over the years. 

Here we go...

IT’S ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE

Your attitude shapes the results of everything you do, so it’s always a good place to start if you want to improve your life. Stop worrying about whether or not your blog post is going to be good enough. Start thinking about how much fun you could have writing it! Even if you have to fake it at first, going at something with the attitude that you care and are excited to do it will improve your productivity and the quality of your work.

Next time you visit a professor, are you going to walk in with a concerned look on your face and nervously voice your concerns about your grade? Or will you walk in with a friendly smile and a list of tricky some concepts from class you would like to discuss? Think about how you can use a great attitude to positively influence the outcome of any situation you face.

APPEARANCE MATTERS

If you look good, you feel good. Dress in a way that makes you feel confident in your ability to take on the world. If you always hate how you look in that one sweater… throw it out! The way you feel about your appearance will influence the way you perceive yourself, so don’t let something as seemingly trivial as clothing make you feel bad about yourself.

You may feel super cute in an oversized hoodie—or that may make you feel like a mess. You may feel like a superstar in a suit and tie—or that may make you feel ancient and stuffy. Own your own style, and remember that beauty goes beyond what you wear. But ask yourself this: why do people choose to dress nicely for interviews? What kind of a message are you sending to the world based on your clothing choice?

CHOOSE AND CULTIVATE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS WISELY

Friendship can be the best thing in the world, or it can suck the life out of you. Sometimes good-hearted people mistake toxic relationships for friendships. If you have a “friend” who intentionally makes you feel bad about yourself… they aren’t a good friend! If you have a “friend” who is constantly coming to you for help, but never shows interest in your life or problems… they aren’t a good friend!

Remember that you are not obligated to maintain a friendship with someone who isn’t returning your kindness—you deserve better! Think about the people who are the closest to you. If you became just like them, would you be happy with yourself? Consider that answer when choosing the people you form the deepest connections with. To avoid only playing the blame-game here, this is probably also a good time to ask yourself—are you the sort of friend you would want to have?

FIX YOUR LANGUAGE

Life can be happier and more efficient if you replace your lame common phrases with awesome ones.

Example: “I don’t know.” This is unhelpful and oozes apathy.

Instead say: “Let me find that out for you!” This demonstrates respect to the person you are talking to, and also forces you to assume responsibility to figure it out in a timely matter.

Something as simple as changing your words can make a positive difference in you interactions. What are other common phrases you can switch for something more effective?

TALK TO PEOPLE—THERE IS NO DOWNSIDE

If you are naturally outgoing this may not be a problem for you. But I think a lot of us are senselessly afraid to approach fellow human beings. Here is what can happen if you decide to talk to someone:

They are nice to you—great! This made your day a little bit brighter, here’s a person you will now smile and wave at as you pass by. Perhaps you would like to befriend this person, too! AWESOME!

They are so-so—alright. Sometimes there’s just a lot on a person’s mind, or they’re having a hard time for some reason you don’t know about. All of us have responded to people in this way at some point, and it’s nothing against you personally. On a better day, you might have a nice conversation with this person. It could still be AWESOME!

They are rude to you—okay. That was a little unpleasant, sure. But that’s their problem, not yours. The upside is that now you know this person is a downer, and you can be sure not to waste any more time on them. Their loss. And you’re still AWESOME!

So don’t be afraid to talk to people! You have so much to gain and nothing to lose. 

FIND YOUR PASSION

Live it. Love it. Share it.

TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE

If you are like me, you are generally much kinder to your friends than you are to yourself. Would you let your friend walk across campus alone late at night? No! You would force them to call ACES. But when the sun goes down and you need to get home by yourself, you think: “I’ll (probably) be fine.” Should you really do something under the same circumstances you wouldn’t allow your friend to do it? NO!

You care about your friends, and you try to help them make the best decisions possible. So why don’t you treat yourself with the same affection? Your friends can’t be with you 24/7, so you need to be a friend to yourself. 

TO SUMMARIZE....

You are awesome and deserve nothing but the best. 

Also, DON'T WALK ALONE IN THE DARK! JUST DON'T!

All my love, 

Mother Ginger

Harping Hands

Yes, they are skilled in making music on a 47-stringed instrument. But the “harping” I want to talk about is the argument my hands are making. 

If you have been hovering outside of my practice room lately, you may think the argument my hands are making is the angry-sounding passage in the Hindemith Harp Sonata I’m learning.

Not quite.

You would be right to think that the music made by my hands could be an argument. I believe that music is powerful enough to assume a life independent of the performer. The music is its own argument, and it is an argument of infinite possibilities—too broad for me to appropriately address here.

So what are my hands arguing?

You will notice that my hands are quite small. My petite hands are practically shouting:

“Hey world! Clearly, I can’t cause too much harm to anyone. And if I’m this small, the rest of me probably won’t be very strong, so physical labor is out of the question. Maybe I could be more useful at something that requires a little more finesse?”

The mere size of my hands advertise my non-threatening nature and suggest the kind of activities I might be well-suited towards—the fine arts.

My commitment to the arts, specifically the harp, is argued by my hands as well. As seen in the picture above, I have extremely short fingernails. This is characteristic of a serious harpist. You may also observe the blisters on my fingers. These blisters are the result of diligent practice (although sometimes all it takes is a loud glissando) and will soon toughen up to form calluses. The physical qualities of my hands confirm that I am harpist, but they also suggest a bit more. What kind of harpist? The kind of harpist who applies maximum effort. My hands argue that I am a hard worker, ready to meet any challenge.

Know this before I reach my last argument. The hands of a harpist bring beauty, comfort, and inspiration to the world. I hope we can agree that these are all good things. It is evident that my hands are particularly suited to bringing these good things into the world. If my hands’ skills for music is utilized to bring goodness to others, I think it is the greatest thing they can do for the good of mankind.

Now, the most important argument my hands make:

If my small, beat-up hands are capable of making wonderful things happen, so are the hands of everyone else.

Look down. You have hands, too!

In fact, your hands are probably bigger than mine, stronger. Or maybe they are smaller, capable of the utmost precision. It takes hands of all types to make the world turn. Your hands—and you—have a purpose in this world. You have the power to make a difference.

So now you have to ask yourself: what are your hands arguing?

Are you listening?